Hi everybody. I realize that people have strong feelings about Email humor,
but I am offering these puns to the LBNA list in good conscience, because 1)
one of them has to do with compasses, and 2) another has to do with a Viking
(hi Erik!).

Enjoy! And if you really do object to my posting them, well---let me
know!!!!!!

Bonnie
In muggy muggy Massachusetts
P6F3

>Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid
>bowlers.
>However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire.
>Thus
>we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
>
>A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm
>shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll
>just
>have to be a little patient."
>
>Back in the 1800's the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to
>produce other products, and since they already made the cases for pocket
>watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers traveling west. It
>turned out that although their watches were of the finest quality, their
>compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico
>rather
>than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression, "He
>who
>has a Tates is lost!"
>
>A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory
>equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely
>nothing
>to go on."
>
>An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man.
>After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip
>of
>elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew and
>swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine
>man
>returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said,
>"The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
>
>A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name
>missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the
>local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken
>Lief off my census."

>A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies
>with
>the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a
>particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the
>anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and
>said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"
>
>There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on
>an
>elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became
>pregnant, and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on
>the
>hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of
>the
>hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
>



______________________________________________________

hehe


>From: "Tom Cooch"
>Reply-To: letterbox-usa@egroups.com
>To: letterbox-usa@egroups.com
>Subject: [LbNA] Re: Humor: Puns Intended
>Date: Wed, 8 Sep 1999 09:44:46 +0000
>
>Thanks, Bonnie! No objections at all. I printed out your list and
>took it into breakfast. Sandy was serving up bagels with some Nova
>Scotian smoked salmon! The first ones were a little off, but the next
>batch was great, and I read your e-mail as we ate.
>
>We all agreed that puns were quite appropriate for North American
>better lox!
>
>Tom
>
>
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>

______________________________________________________

no offense here... I'm busily trying to explain the math humor to the
hippo one to a very pregnant friend on icq.
--
Thom Cheney
tcgrafx... among other things